Fancy Meeting You Here
by Zeff N Company
Summary: Challenge fic, based on proximity-nine's deviantArt of same title. "...that dress looks really good on you, by the way." "Know that when this is over, I will kill you in a manner as inhumane as I can think of."
1. Fancy Meeting You Here

...I...feel weird now. I seriously have never written Cloud in a dress before, and now I don't know what to think. I honestly don't know how I managed to finish this thing - it took me six hours, by the way. Most of it was just trying to get things to fit. Now I'm just tired, and have at the most four hours of sleep to look forward to.

This short drabble is a challenge short (from Damion once again), as a follow up to proximity-nine's latest deviant by the same title. Now, usually I'm highly unsure to the point of chickening out, but when Howling found out, she wouldn't stop trying to help until I got it down. The identity of the host and his little navy officer friend is up to the audience, cos' I just gave up trying to fix anything.

Thanks for the support, Iz. Hope this one is somewhat alright; I don't think I can tell until I get some hours of sleep...

1. First paragraph done up using the description from proximity-nine's deviant description.

2. Dance scene idea by Howling WereWolf.

3. Make out scene idea, I blame on Flypipe/Damion for linking me up to some very awkward make-out scenes from anime episodes in crunchyroll. A prominent example is _Zero no Tsukaima: Futatsuki no Kishi_, specifically episode 6. So...very...awkward...

* * *

There was only one other person in the outdoor gallery, which didn't surprise him, as the evening was getting on and the air was chilly. A few benches away sat a woman with her back to him, a tumble of blond curls over her shoulders, who by the tense way she shifted position looked just as happy as him to be there. Leon felt a momentary pang of empathy. At least he had managed to slip away from Aerith for a few moments to get some fresh air. She had insisted on introducing him to everyone in the room, and then he had to stand there as they made small talk and complimented her flower arrangements. Perhaps he hadn't been able to refuse her invitation to the party, but his patience did have a limit.

Leon honestly did not understand why he was there. Theoretically, he did, he supposed; in actual situation, he had no idea what he was doing. These people knew so little about Radiant Garden, and properly would not have, but Aerith's expertise seemed to have reached them by word of mouth from who knew how many different sources, and so she had been requested in for a well-lavished ball held in a certain General's honor. Her usual escort of choice having disappeared for who knew what reason, Aerith had coaxed him into accompanying her as an escort.

Escort. Yeah, _right_. He had seen Aerith take a _stick_ to a team of vandals in Traverse Town; if anyone needed protection of any sort, it was definitely not her. The host and his several decorated guests of different ranks and status alike seemed harmless enough. Thus put, he was out through the French Windows the first chance he got.

Leon began to pace a little along the balustrade, politely ignoring the woman on the bench, as he sensed that neither of them were very keen on conversation. He was about to turn and walk the opposite way to give her some space when she stood, abruptly, taking a few urgent steps to the railing as if to get a look at the group of new guests arriving. Catching a glimpse of her profile distracted him momentarily from how awkwardly she seemed to handle walking in heels, even low ones, though the realization of why she seemed so familiar didn't set in for a few confused moments.

As if sensing his stare, she turned to glare and her eyes widened in shock, only confirming his next astonished inquiry.

"..._Cloud_?"

The hissed reply of "_Shut up_!" put all doubt to rest. Leon wasn't sure if he wanted to burst out laughing or turn and run as fast as he could.

"What are you...doing here?"

The other man folded his arms over his chest, though whether he was being defensive or merely self-conscious of the sheer black dress draped around his form, it was hard to tell. Most likely, both. "I-I could ask you the same thing."

"Why are you wearing a-"

"None of your _business_," Cloud snapped, his tone a bit strangled. "Aerith promised that no one I knew would be-"

"Aerith's the mastermind behind this? I'm not surprised." Leon gave him a pitying look. "She invited me."

Cloud looked utterly betrayed. Also surprisingly good in a dress.

"Nice hair," Leon added after a moment, when no reply was forthcoming.

"It's a wig," Cloud muttered resentfully.

"Looks expensive. Has anyone asked you to dance?"

The glare he got in reply was most likely the same answer any requests for a dance partner had gotten.

"So, are you going to glare at me all night, or are you going to explain why-" Leon paused, not sure he'd be able to say it without laughing. As amusing as the situation was, Cloud was obviously upset. "...explain?"

Cloud stared at him warily for a moment, as if making sure he wasn't being made fun of. Come to think of it, perhaps Leon was the only person who might take him seriously in such a situation...He let out a breath that was something like a resigned sigh.

"Well, you already know how it was Aerith's idea..."

"Hang on," and Leon turned and gestured toward the nearby stairs. "Let's go somewhere more private."

* * *

"...let's see," Leon paused again to count off points on his fingers. Currently, the two were in the landscaped garden, conveniently out of public view by the many exotic plants that were in the area.  
"The host is a suspect in a case, and the prosecutor hired you to...acquire and 'deliver' any helpful evidence. That still doesn't explain...well..."

There was an audible grinding of teeth; Cloud was obviously still highly indignant about his position. "If I'm to get anything worth my time, I have to be close enough without gaining his attention. This noble is familiar with all his attendants, so masquerading as staff is out of the question. Aerith suggested this...getup...was suitable enough to keep his attention elsewhere."

"...how in the world is...well...this..." Leon, aching with held-in laughter, waved a hand as he motioned toward the sleek black dress again.

"Edgeworth believes the suspect is only interested in men."

Leon coughed. "I...see. So, what n-"

He was interrupted by a hand, Cloud's awkwardness forgotten as he crouched. "Get down - here he comes."

Sure enough, just as the two dropped further out of sight, the figure of the host and a different guest descended the stairs. This guest - a young navy officer whose name Leon could not place - seemed uncomfortable, but meekly followed after the host. The two seemed to pay little heed to their surroundings, the host focusing entirely on the one before him as he spoke in a low voice. There was a flash of dark silver, and Leon saw a handheld recorder appear in Cloud's hand.

And then his eyes proceeded to travel upward.

Suddenly, Cloud did not just look surprisingly good dressed this way; here, away from the gallery's artificial lighting and - with only the moonlight overhead -, Cloud was simply breathtaking. The wig's costliness was paying off, the way it caught the light at just the right places. Sitting there, as stiffly as he was, Cloud seemed to glow with an aura of silver.

... Simply breathtaking.

And just like that, the moment was broken as Cloud glared back at him. "Stop staring. Now."

Leon obliged, returning his attention to the pair. The host still spoke in a low voice, but now was pulling the officer closer, despite the obvious panic in the other.

"I don't think-" the officer squeaked in protest as the noble promptly cut him off.

"Quiet, you. I'm going to make this all worth my time. The General can go make a fool of himself for all I care - I'm just paying for _his_ glory-hogging ceremony."

"But we can't do this here! Not _now_!"

"Don't be silly - it's such a romantic night. Like in the books. If not here, where? If not now, when? I've been so patient, but I've also been so lonely..."

"I don't-is there someone over there?" and indeed the smaller officer had his attention toward the very plantation that the two eavesdroppers were hidden behind.

Cloud gritted his teeth, the recorder promptly disappearing once more. "... Leonhart, run," he hissed.

"_What?_" he barely hissed back. Already, the host had released the other officer as he strode purposefully toward the bushes.

"He recognizes you; there could be trouble. He doesn't know me; I can take him alone."

"Then what? He's a _noble_ - you can't risk-!"

"I don't suppose you have a better idea?"

Leon paused, suddenly not knowing what to say. Cloud was looking pointedly at him through the locks of golden hair, waiting.

"Seven steps," Cloud warned.

"I..."

"Four."

"Well..."

"Two."

"Kill me later."

There was a rustle, and then another as the man shoved aside one of the miniature palms that was blocking his view. "What in the...!"

Cloud and Leon ignored him. For the moment, their gazes were locked upon each other. Cloud's blue orbs burned with a cold fire, clearly sending the message that he would make Leon's death slow and painful. What swirled in Leon's own eyes was a mixture of panic and a certain determination. The latter was currently on top of the former, their lips pressed together in what appeared as a passionate make-out session interrupted. From behind, the small officer blushed a bright red as he too spotted the pair.

The host, calming sooner than the other, turned back with a leer and pointed back at the two. "See, that..._that_ is what we should be doing right now."

The officer, still a bright red, did not have the chance to reply properly as the noble released the plants, strode back purposefully, and proceeded to drag the younger man away.

"What are you-?"

"We'll let them do what they have to, and we'll do what _we_ have to."

"This is not at all proper! Someone will find out! They always do! I can't get demoted again, you _know_ that! _... Put me down_!"

Eventually, even the protesting officer's voice faded away, and the air became still once more. At last, Leon lifted himself up and slightly off the other man he had been pinning to the ground moments ago. As they continued to stare at each other with their faces bare inches apart, he licked his lips uncertainly.

"...that," Cloud started in a dangerously calm voice. "Was that your show of a better idea?"

"At least you didn't blow your cover."

"_Get off me._"

Leon could not have obliged any quicker.

* * *

When the two of them finally returned upstairs, and back to the room, Aerith seemed to have spotted them momentarily - that is, if her raised eyebrow was any indication. The others were eyeing them with different levels of intrigue, and Leon self-consciously readjusted his tie. No doubt, all the questions that must be filling those pompous heads about what exactly he and his "lady friend" had been up to.

At last, Aerith came up to them. Leon was not entirely sure, but he swore he saw _mirth_ in her eyes.

"I see you two found each other."

"Aerith, you _promised_," Cloud hissed.

"I know - I'm sorry, Cloud, but I didn't want you to do this alone. I'm too out in the open to be of much use, but Leon can help you get closer."

"I don't need-" Cloud was promptly cut off again as a new piece of music filled the ballroom. One of the ladies suddenly left her group and approached the noble. They exchanged bows, and were soon twirling across the dance floor. Leon glanced toward Cloud - the latter's eyes were narrowed again. No doubt, if there was going to be any results from this night of...experience, this was as good a chance as any. Clearing his throat, Leon offered a hand.

"...would the fair lady honor me with this dance?"

The formal question was answered with a withering glare, and then a hissed reply: "What the _hell_ are you thinking?"

"Aerith's right - you need to get closer, and I can help you."

His hand was still raised in offering. At last, still shooting him a glare that could kill small animals, Cloud took the offered hand and allowed himself to be led onto the dance floor. As they entered the crowd of dancing couples, Leon leaned in to whisper.

"I'll try and get us into the inner circle. Get ready."

There was a nod, and then they resumed the dance.

"...that dress looks really good on you, by the way," he suddenly brought up, no longer able to hold back the smirk that made its way onto his face.

"Know that when this is over," Cloud answered as easily. "I will kill you in a manner as inhumane as I can think of."

"If you say so."

On the sidelines, seated with the host's matron, Aerith only watched with a smile.

* * *

_**As a final word, proximity-nine's actual piece of fanart was a big incentive to start writing - I had to look back at it five more times just to finish. I think. Time for sleep...!**_


	2. Afterword with Edgeworth

Just a quasi second chapter, as a follow up to bridge the gap between this one, and _**The Answer to Everything**_. Thanks to all who popped in! 

* * *

"You have it, then?"

"Right here," Cloud replied stoically, sliding the recorder across the table. The infamous prosecutor - in his world at least - picked it up and pressed a button, listening carefully to the information and nodding every now and then. Cloud was satisfied; he had managed to remove the front "noise", including that little "mishap" between himself and Leon before they were almost caught by the target. And what he had - what he had left intact and untouched - was valuable enough.

His client seemed to agree, and as he set the recorder down, he pulled open a drawer. Pulling out a pouch, he set it down in front of Cloud. "Here's your pay - and as requested - in gold."

Cloud pulled the pouch closer, opened it, and inspected the contents. Suddenly, he frowned and pulled out a fistful of gold coins. "...this is more than we agreed on."

"Twice, specifically." Edgeworth paused as he quirked an eyebrow. "Is that a complaint?"

"Just curious."

"For a job well done," the man explained slowly. "_And_ half of that is for your partner."

The coins fell back into the pouch with ominous clinking. "...what partner?"

"The one who assisted you in this...delivery." The man lifted out a small portable player and set it down on the table. Pulling out a tape from his pocket, he slipped it in. "I got this from someone else I hired to infiltrate the mansion. Clearly not as professional as you, it would appear; he left me miscellaneous...'noise'."

Cloud squinted at the screen, recognizing the perspective to be that of a hidden camera. Then he froze as he saw himself and Leon among the foliage. Then he proceeded to go from white to fuchsia as Leon's "good idea" was replayed for both their viewing pleasures.

The tape came to a stop, and Edgeworth put it away without comment. Cloud thought to say something, but nothing went past his suddenly dry throat. With a deep breath, he nodded once, and turned to the door.

"Nice dress, by the way."

The knob was promptly dented in Cloud's clenched fist.

* * *

_**proximity-nine**_: Anonymous reviews are great like that. XD  
Me, I'm glad that you like them - I really like your art, and your works are a constant inspiration to me. And thank _you_ for the review...!

_**DarkShinRa**_: I don't know, really. Putting Cloud in a dress still makes me a little awkward. Hope you liked the sequel though.

_**ShadowCat17**_: You do? That's...good to hear. I may not come up with any more unless I get over the awkwardness, though.

_**StellarEclipse**_: The classic "pretend to be making out" escape plan was always a favorite. XD

_**Tobi-Uchiha**_: Guess I'll have to try harder to get used to Cloud in a dress, from the looks of it. XD

_**Renkin-chan**_: Wall Market was funny like that.


End file.
